Who I am

I remember calling my mom at some point and yelling "Mom, what did I like when I was little? What was my passion?" I was convinced that I had to figure out what my dreams used to be in order to find myself and finally understand what in the world I want to become when I grow up, even though I was already 30+. Hey, don't judge, we are all kids inside.

I also remember that feeling of emptiness when my last hope disappeared when she told me that I am her third child and it's really hard to remember details after you pass a certain number of children. Well, I didn't give up right away, though, because I also have an older sister, who was like my second mom, but she told me two things:

Small goals, small wins

I need to set some goals for myself, so I can stay on track. Just short-term, nothing serious...

1) Every time I hear an interesting thought or an idea, I will write it here, so I can look back and remember it.

2) I will listen to some lectures without judgement to understand how far away I am from the concept of femininity and how other people perceive it. I don't bond myself with the following list of people, but I have their names to start with:

Don't let your Ki pass by

It's simple, all I will try to do here is document the thoughts, ideas, or even quotes that I learn on the way to a happier me. Ki is the energy that will help me find that way.

Today I made a decision - instead of trying to find myself, as I have been trying to do for a long time, I will let myself BE instead, I will free myself from a burden of choice. I am not going to try to find my niche anymore, a potential job that I would love, or a business idea... Because I just realised that by doing it, I would actually make my life limited, close-ended and boring. I am anything but boring, and I don't want to end up going against my own nature.